My Invisible Friend

from Jack Wallace

You may think being addicted to drugs and being a disciple of a great guru are mutually exclusive, but I tell you, from my own experience, they are not.

Naturally, each disciple finds in the teachings of Master those verses that speak personally to him. You won’t be surprised to hear my favorite.

“I’m not saying you should do wrong,” Yogananda said, “but if you can’t help yourself, due to habits that are too firmly rooted, then do it with God. He likes that!”

Even in my worst moments I could still sense that I was not alone. Always I was accompanied by the One I called “my Invisible Friend.” His presence, I believe, mitigated many bad karmas that would otherwise have destroyed me.

Finally I reached the nadir of that chapter of my life. One night, alone in the woods, I found myself walking in circles, fervently repeating, “I just can’t stop! I just can’t stop! I just can’t stop!”

Inwardly I heard Master sigh, then somewhat reluctantly say, “All right, then.”

A moment later I was surrounded by a squadron of police, who promptly arrested me and took me to jail. Alone in a cold cell, with no one but my Invisible Friend to keep me company, I was astonished to find myself focused on a single thought: my love for God.

Everything had been stripped away—my dignity, my self-respect, and now my freedom—but nothing could come between God and me. That lesson alone was worth all it had cost me to learn it. This was the turning point, the blessing I had been praying for.

“I love you. I love you. I love you,” I said over and over again to my Invisible Friend.

A capable attorney managed to delay for six months my appearance before the judge. By that time I had an impressive record of therapy, community service, and clean and sober living. The result was a handshake from the judge, congratulating me for turning my life around.

I accepted his congratulations. I had worked hard, but it was a joint effort. Master and me, together.